Roles of Midgets in Video Games

They’re everywhere in the media — midgets. You can find midgets in movies, commercials, and everywhere on television (hint: Game of Thrones). But where are they in games?

People have an undeniable fascination with midgets, dwarves, and little people in general. Why? Well I’m no psychologist but I figure it’s because they’re cute, cuddly, and for some reason amusing. If you or someone you know is a little person, email me if you are offended by this article in any way. I probably won’t care very much, but I would still like to know.

Anyway, let’s get on with it. I’ve seen dwarves in games. In fact, I’ve seen so many dwarves in games that this next point confuses me: why have I never seen a midget in any video game I have ever played? Now I’ve played a whole hell of a lot of video games, so I should have seen at least one.

You may claim that Halflings, Hobbits, and maybe even Gnomes are Midgets. But guess what: they aren’t. These are all entities derived from some form of fantasy, fiction, legend or lore. In fact, every Dwarf I have seen in games has been the fantasy-style Dwarf rather than one based on reality.

I want to see the ability, in any game with Humans as a race, for people to be a Midget or Dwarf. It could be something we could choose or even be based off randomness so little people are still somewhat unique, but not foreign.

Do game developers have a problem with little people? Do you feel that a hero or villain can’t be a small person? I have news for you…

America loves Midgets!

And since most of us are completely stupid and ignorant, we think that Dwarves are Midgets too. I apologize on the behalf of every big person in the world for this foolish mistake. Which brings me to my next point…

America loves Dwarves!

I bet people from other countries feel the same way. Give us what we want or we may begin a huge rebellion against video games. Then again, it’s probably not that big of a deal and game-addicted fiends like myself will still play if there is a rebellion on any level. Moreover there is about a 99.5% chance that no rebellion will take place at all, but let’s think positive.

Where are the little people? Show me.

Posted in Gaming